


Through The Years We All Will Be Together

by authorette



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Christmas fic, Each chapter is stand alone, F/F, Minor Angst, Vanity Fest, Vanity Fest 2018, basically a collection of Vanity Christmases through the years, because i can’t help myself and neither can they, but all set in the same universe, lots of fluff, some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-05 00:03:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16799707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/authorette/pseuds/authorette
Summary: A collection of short festive Vanity moments throughout their relationship. All stories take place in the same universe but stand alone. Will vary in length and rating so please check the content warnings. I’ll be posting as and when I finish these throughout December. Written for Vanity Fest.





	1. 2024: I’ll Be Home For Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> So long story short I didn’t have time to do a proper fully developed longfic in time for Christmas so instead I decided to do this: a collection of short stories set in the same universe through Charity and Vanessa’s relationship. Please read the rating and the content warning at the start of each chapter. 
> 
> Please feel free to leave your comments. I also now have tumblr - find me at authorette44 and come and say hello! :)
> 
> Rating for this chapter: G  
> CW: none - this is mild fluff

2024: I’ll Be Home For Christmas

“I’m really sorry in advance,” Noah says, bracing himself.

“What for?” Carrie laughs. 

“Just…whatever happens in there.”

“You’re so strange,” she replies. “Are we ever going in?”

He sighs, and the opens the door. “We’re here!” He peers into the living room and sees Moses on the sofa with the PS5 controller, biting his lip in concentration. Behind him in the kitchen, Vanessa is folding laundry. 

“Noah!” she beams, dropping a shirt back into the basket and coming forward to hug him. “I thought you’d be a couple of hours yet.”

He feels himself go red as she hugs him, because even after all this time it’s still a bit strange, but it’s nice too. “Skipped the last class because the traffic alert said that the motorway was getting really blocked up.”

Vanessa somehow manages to look disapproving and pleased at the same time, and then turns to Carrie. 

“So, you’re the famous Carrie? Our Noah won’t shut up about you.”

“Ness!” he hisses. “God, you’re worse than Mum!”

Carrie just laughs. “Nice to meet you, Dr Dingle.”

Vanessa chokes a little. “God, please call me Vanessa.”

“I just wanted to say, thank you so much for having me stay. It’s hard, not being able to fly home for Christmas, and it’s so nice to be able to come and meet Noah’s family.”

“I hope you still say that after you’ve had to endure the whole bunch,” Noah mutters. “Where’s Mum?”

“She’s working until six. Thought we could head over there for dinner later?” Vanessa walks over to where Moses is still engrossed and pulls his headphones off. “Look who’s here, Moses!”

Moses turns around and leaps up, running round to hug Noah tightly. 

Noah laughs. “Hi there!”

Carrie leans down and gives a little wave. “You must be Moses?”

Moses goes bright red and shuffles behind Vanessa’s legs.

“He’s a little shy, aren’t you wee man?” Vanessa smiles. “But he’ll be fine once he gets to know you.”

Noah grabs his bag. “Come on. Let’s get settled before the rest of them show up.

*** 

Noah still remembers vividly, the first time he brought a girl home. It was just after they moved in to Tug Ghyll, and what stands out about it was how grateful he was for Vanessa being there. 

They’d kind of reached a truce, before that, especially after she lied to get his mum out of jail that time, but that evening was a turning point in their relationship, at least from Noah’s point of view.

His mum had been late, and in one of her weird moods because she’d had an argument with Chas, and she was loud and obnoxious and inappropriate, and he had been terrified that she would scare Annie off.

But Vanessa had taken control: she had made a proper home cooked lasagne, had been her usual bubbly self and asked Annie lots of non-threatening questions about herself, and when his mum started mouthing off and an argument started brewing between her and Noah, Vanessa sent him and Annie outside to ‘take the bins out’, and by the time they came back in for dessert Vanessa had calmed his mum down and smoothed the tension out of her face.

At the end of the night, Annie had gushed about Vanessa, and even though they only lasted for another couple of months, he never forgot the way Vanessa defused the situation on a night that was extremely important to him.

So tonight, instead of going on ahead like Vanessa suggests, he and Carrie wait until Vanessa has persuaded the boys to put on their coats and leave their video games behind to head to the pub together.

Carrie isn’t like Annie or any of the girls he’s dated since her. She’s confident and sociable, and fairly easy going, but he’s still nervous, because he’s never felt like this about anyone before. And if he’s honest with himself, he’s desperate for his mum to like her. 

So it’s a good start, that Vanessa seems to, because Vanessa can talk his mum into pretty much anything.

“Noah!” she exclaims the minute he walks in, and he feels himself blush as the entire pub falls silent and turns towards them. 

He lets her hug him and watches as she then plants a kiss in Vanessa’s mouth and ruffles the boys’ heads before turning to Carrie.

“You must be Carrie,” she says, and he can tell this is a make or break moment.

“Lovely to meet you,” Carrie replies, looking her dead in the eye and sticking out her hand, and from the way his mum quirks an eyebrow and Vanessa smiles he can tell that she’s impressed his mum.

“Relax,” Vanessa whispers in his ear. “I’ve told her to be on her best behaviour.”

Suddenly overcome by affection for Vanessa, he gives her a quick, kind of awkward half-hug. “Thanks Ness,” he says quietly, and ignores the way her eyes go damp in response.

*** 

“So, Carrie seems nice,” his mum says as they’re left alone at the table for the first time that night. 

“You never think anyone is nice!” he says suspiciously. “Aren’t you going to give me a list of what’s wrong with her?”

His mum shrugs. “Apart from that god-awful American accent? Actually nothing.” She looks down at her hands. “And you seem really happy.”

“I am.” It’s a little bit awkward, because the two of them don’t have chats like this, about feelings and stuff, not like his mum and Debbie do. “I really like her.”

His mum looks up at him, and she’s got a very soft expression on her face that he’s only seen a handful of times. “That’s all I want, you know? For you to be happy.”

“I am,” he repeats. “She’s special, you know? We’re so different but she just gets me. She doesn’t want me to be anyone different.”

“That’s the best feeling in the world,” his mum says quietly. “Finding that person that just wants you to be you. Faults and all.”

They both turn to the bar where Vanessa and Carrie are laughing over the tray of drinks, and when his mum reaches for his hand and squeezes it, he returns the squeeze hard. 

*** 

“They’re so cute,” Carrie says later when they’re all walking home together, and his mum and Vanessa are holding hands and smiling at each other.

He huffs, but now that he’s older, he can agree. Despite all the odds, Ness has stuck.

“Do you think we’ll still be that in love when we’re that age?” Carrie asks.

Noah’s mind goes blank for a moment. “Still? You… you…”

She squeezes his hand. “Of course I love you, silly. And you love me too, right?”

He can’t hide the smile on his own face, and tugs her in for a quick kiss, which makes Johnny and Moses point and make noises like they’re being sick. “Course I do,” he replies.

Stupidly and completely.


	2. 2060: Soon The Bells Will Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T  
> CW: dementia
> 
> This one is angsty, fair warning! 
> 
> Comments are welcome and so come over and say hi in tumblr: find me at authorette44.

2060: Soon The Bells Will Start

“I’ll be back in a couple of hours, and then we’ll head over to Sarah’s, ok?”

Charity nods, groaning as she reaches down for her hand bag. “Sure you don’t want to say hello?”

Moses shakes his head. “I just… I can’t. Not today.”

Charity sighs and nods. It’s hard for the kids. 

It’s hard for her too.

She grumps as Moses tells her to stay put and runs round the car to help her out. “I’ve got arthritis, I’m not at death’s door!” she bitches half heartedly. 

Molly, the receptionist who always smiles no matter what’s going on in the world, and who tends to set Charity’s teeth on edge, opens the front door and waves.

“How are you, Mrs Dingle?” she chirps as Charity slowly makes her way up the path, leaning in her stick. “Merry Christmas!”

Charity rolls her eyes. “Don’t you have anything better to be doing?”

Molly just gives her an indulgent look. “She’s doing alright today. There was a bit of an incident yesterday when she got hold of Mr Gregory’s cat and then diagnosed him with cancer, but we’ve calmed both of them down and they seemed alright this morning.”

Charity smirks a little. Vanessa can’t help but try to diagnose any and all animals that cross her path, and even in her current state, she’s been right more often than she’s been wrong.

Story of Charity’s life, really. Vanessa being right. 

That’s what’s been hardest, Charity thinks, these past two years. Losing her sounding board. Her sense check. Learning to be just-Charity instead of one half of the team she’s been part of for half her life. 

She takes the lift, even though she hates the way it smells, of hospitals and decay, because her hip is killing her and stairs make it worse.

It’s going to be a long day, and she needs to save her strength for the kids and grandkids and great grandkids. All the people Vanessa made her promise to look after when she first started forgetting names and the reasons she’d went into rooms and how to make tea and tie her shoe laces.

When she gets to the room, she knocks softly on the open door and sees Vanessa sitting in her favourite chair, knitting away. 

It’s not really knitting, of course. It’s a mess of wool, knotted and with dropped stitches all over. Charity remembers the jumpers Vanessa used to knit them all for Christmas. She’s wearing one of the last Vanessa ever made right now. It’s got two gingerbread men wearing hats on it, and it’s cosy and smells of the detergent that still reminds her of Vanessa, even if she hasn’t been the one to wash their clothes in years.

“Hello, beautiful,” she says, smiling, and feels the ache of relief when Vanessa smiles back at her.

That’s good. That means she has at least an idea of who Charity is. 

The hardest days are the ones when she looks blankly right through her. When it’s clear she can’t remember any of the million reasons why she’s been Charity’s world for over forty years.

“One hour until lunch,” Vanessa announces with glee.

Charity feels herself smile again. Vanessa and food: a love story that has endured through even dementia.

“The kids say hello,” Charity says. “I know Johnny stopped by yesterday, and I think Debbie might be by tomorrow, but it depends on the weather down south, lots of trains are cancelled because of the snow.”

Vanessa smiles politely at her, and Charity sighs. “So what was for breakfast?”

“Bacon butties,” Vanessa informs her promptly. “And Christmas dinner at 1.”

Charity reaches into her pocket and pulls out a picture. She doesn’t often torture herself like this, doesn’t sit around wishing things were different because there’s no point. But when Johnny gave the picture to her yesterday, creased edges and faded from all the years it hung on their fridge, she’d decided to take it along today. 

“Look,” she says gently. “Look, Ness.” 

Vanessa leans forward with a polite expression of mild interest, and takes the picture in her hands.

Charity tries not to look at her bare ring finger; she knows jewellery isn’t allowed but it still hurts. Another reminder that the person who was her wife is almost gone.

“That was the year we got engaged,” Charity tells her. “After you stopped being mad at me.” 

In the photo, which she thinks Frank took, or maybe Megan, they’re all lined up in front of Tug Ghyll. Vanessa has her arms around Charity’s waist and Charity has one hand flung around Vanessa’s shoulders. The bandage around Charity’s head is half covered by her hair.

Johnny and Moses, covered in snow from the snowball fight they’d been having, stand in front of them. Noah is to one side, with Ryan, hands in pockets but smiling, and on the other side is Debbie, looking genuinely happy for them, with Sarah and Jack flanking her.

“I thought that was the happiest I would ever be,” Charity tells Vanessa. “But you proved me wrong, didn’t you?”

Vanessa is running her fingers over the faces, a small frown creasing her forehead. For a moment Charity thinks she might say something, but then her face clears and she puts down the picture and picks up the knitting.

“It’s alright, babe,” Charity tells her. “It’s alright. I’ll remember for both of us.”

She takes a moment to look at Vanessa , really look. She’s lost weight, again, and she’s kind of hunched. Charity knows that she herself isn’t looking much better these days, but it’s still a shock, when she stops and compares how Vanessa used to be.

Charity used to always think she’d be first to go. Never thought she’d make it to this age, to be quite honest.

This will probably be the last Christmas she ever spends with her wife, she knows that. Or the shell her wife left behind. She’s long past the ‘why us’ and the ‘it’s so unfairs’, has learned to accept this like she’s accepted all the other setbacks in her life. But the ache doesn’t go away, that feeling that a part of her is missing now, and will never come back.

“I brought your hat,” Charity says softly, pulling the Santa hat out of her bag. “I know you like to dress for the occasion.” She puts it on Vanessa’s head and is rewarded with a smile. “There. Beautiful.”

_Promise me you’ll look after yourself,_ , Vanessa had said to her during one of her last lucid episodes, _when I can’t anymore_. And she’s trying. The kids are helping too, and Chas until she left them in August.

It’s not the same, of course. On her bad days, Charity is furious at Vanessa, for leaving her this way, an imposter sitting in her skin. A face that still, after all this time, makes Charity’s heart clench with love in the way no one else has ever made her feel. But the person who knew all her secrets and desires and loved her good and bad and ugly parts, she’s gone now.

But today it’s alright. Vanessa always loved Christmas, and instilled that love in all of their kids and grandkids and great grandkids, and so today Charity will bask in it, the echo of love that Vanessa left behind in all of them, and remember. 

She realises that Vanessa is staring at her, suddenly. “What’s up?” she asks.  
“If you want a mince pie you’ll have to get it yourself. I got in trouble last time I gave you food before lunch.”

“I’m sorry for staring,” Vanessa smiles. “But for a second there in the light, you looked a lot like my wife.”


	3. 2020: Just Want You For My Own

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is pure fluff, guys. 
> 
> CW: minor injury, discussion of car accident  
> Rating: T
> 
> Thanks to everyone who’s been commenting, as ever please let me know your thoughts and feel free to head over and say hi on tumblr at authorette44! :)

2020: Just Want You For My Own

Vanessa gently deposits Charity on the sofa, ignoring the clamouring of their kids and her sister who are asking if Charity’s ok and what happened.

She’s so angry she feels like if she opens her mouth she’ll explode. 

“I’m alright,” she hears Charity say, and bites her lip hard, moving into the kitchen and busying herself filling be kettle. “Just got a concussion. No vital organs affected, eh Ness?”

Vanessa does not respond, other than taking down mugs and slamming them onto the counter. 

“Gave us a bit of a fright,” Tracy says. “Maybe next time, Ryan, don’t open with ‘don’t freak out but Charity’s in hospital’, eh?”

Vanessa clenches her jaw at the laughter behind her. 

“Come sit down, Vanessa, I can make the tea,” Tracy says. “V?” Tracy catches sight of Vanessa’s face and takes a step back. “Erm, are you ok?”

“Ness?” Charity calls from the sofa. “Is this about the car? I’m sorry, alright? But it wasn’t going to pass it’s next MOT anyway, so really I’ve just saved us money…” Charity wisely trails off as Vanessa turns to face her.

The kids all around them also shut up, exchanging nervous glances.

“You think I’m annoyed about the _car_?” Vanessa asks incredulously. “You drove on a country road in a blizzard, with no winter tyres despite me reminding you to get them _since October_ , smash into a tree _with Ryan in the car_ , hit your head hard enough to get a concussion, bruise your ribs, and you think I’m annoyed about the _car_? You could have both _died!_ ”

“Vanessa!” Charity says, in that let’s-be-reasonable tone that drives Vanessa mental when Charity uses it on her. “Come on, it’s a scratch.”

“Mum,” Noah tries, “maybe that’s not the best-“

“A scratch!” Vanessa balls her shaking fingers into a ball. “Right. How silly of me. I should have known when I drove past your wreck of a car and got to A and E to find you covered in blood.”

The room has gone very still. The boys are looking at her with wide, scared eyes, but she can’t bring herself to comfort them right now. Not when the fear is still deep inside her bones, cold and clenching.

Charity is staring at her wide eyed, as if it’s only just occurred to her that maybe Vanessa wasn’t thrilled to have to pick her up from hospital on Christmas Eve. 

She can feel herself on the verge of saying something she’ll regret, so she shakes her head and pushes past Tracy towards the stairs.

“Vanessa!” she hears Charity call but she can feel herself starting to cry hot, angry tears and she wants to cry those on her own, so she keeps going and slams the door to their room.

*** 

There’s a knock some time later, and Vanessa knows it’ll be Charity before she even appears.

“You should be resting,” she says, without lifting her head. She’s been lying on top of the duvet, counting the small stains on their ceiling from when the pipe in the roof space burst a few months ago.

Charity sighs and closes the door behind her. She sits down on the bed and looks down at Vanessa.

Charity looks pale, and the gauze on her forehead showing the brownish blood stain makes Vanessa feel that sick, panicky feeling again. 

“Does you head hurt?” she asks. “You can have a paracetamol with dinner.”

“Ness,” Charity says softly. 

“Or I can get it for you now with some toast or something if you can’t wait?” Vanessa scrambles upright.

“Vanessa.” Charity reaches out and catches her wrist softly. “Can you look at me, please?”

Vanessa sighs but turns her head. She’s not quite ready to make up. The panic of this afternoon is too close still to give in so easily.

“I’m sorry.” Charity laces their fingers together. “I’m sorry I scared you. I’m sorry I took the car out in that weather.”

“Then why did you?” Vanessa explodes. “I _told_ you I had Paddy’s Land Rover, I told you just to let me know if there was anything you needed in town and I’d get it after work. I could have picked up Ryan!”

Charity sighs. “I know! I just…I wasn’t just picking up Ryan.”

Vanessa lets out a long, frustrated breath. “What then? Some last minute Christmas shopping?”

“Something like that.” Charity is biting her lip in that way she has when she’s trying to be evasive, and that is absolutely not the right thing to do right now.

“Charity, you could have died! Can you get that into your head? When I passed your car and saw the airbags I thought I might never see you again. I was terrified!” She looks away as Charity squeezes her fingers, blinking hard against round two of tears filling up her eyes. “What stupid present could possibly have been worth you risking your life for?”

Charity takes a deep breath, and then turns around so she’s kneeling on the bed. “This.” She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a little black box.

Vanessa suddenly feels like the room is spinning. “Is that…”

“You know when the boys were doing that school project last week, about setting resolutions for the new year?” Charity’s voice is shaking a little but she’s still holding Vanessa’s hand tightly. “Well, I realised that what I really want to do next year is make Dingle of you, if you want to. And I wanted to ask you with all the kids around. But the jeweller got your ring size wrong and they only got the right one in today and if I didn’t get it today then I’d have to wait until after Christmas and I really wanted to ask you tomorrow-“ 

“Yes.” Vanessa feels her throat tightening but she manages to keep her voice steady. “I will _kill_ you if you ever do anything like this again.” She swallows hard around the lump in her throat. 

“I haven’t even asked you yet,” Charity says hoarsely, but she’s smiling and her eyes are shimmering. 

“Well, go on then, before I change my mind.” She’s shaking, and everything seems kind of like it’s happening in slow motion: the way Charity is looking at her, with that soft, open expression she saves for moments when it’s just them; the way she slowly opens the box and takes out a beautiful ring; how she grasps Vanessa’s trembling hand in her own and has to clear her throat before she speaks.

“I’m not good at stuff like this,” Charity starts, and Vanessa can already feel the first tear rolling over her face. “So I’ll keep it simple. I know we’ve talked about this and you said it was up to me, that what we have is enough for you, and it’s enough for me too, Ness, but the thing is, I don’t want just enough anymore. You’ve made me believe that I can have everything, and I want that with you.” 

Vanessa is full on crying now. She she’s trying to hold it together but it’s hard when Charity opens herself up like this, when she knows that Charity hasn’t been this way before with anyone ever.

“I want that too,” she manages to get out. 

“Will you marry me, Vanessa?” Charity asks, holding the ring just in front of Vanessa’s finger, and Vanessa moves her hand forward so it slips onto the tip. 

“Of course I will.” Her heart hammers in her chest and she feels a smile tug at the corners of her mouth.

Charity smiles back and pushes the ring over her knuckle, and Vanessa throws her arms around Charity and pulls her close.

“I’m still angry with you,” she whispers, hiding her smile in Charity’s hair. “Proposing to me does not mean you’re not in trouble.”

“Course,” Charity agrees, turning her head and pressing their lips together.

Vanessa’s not exactly surprised, as such, because she’s seen Charity peering in the windows of jewellers over the last couple of months, and when they last had the marriage conversation, Vanessa almost had the feeling Charity _wanted_ her to say that it was important to her, but Vanessa has learned her lesson about pushing Charity into anything before she’s ready. And anyway, she hadn’t been lying when she said she was happy with the way things are. 

Doesn’t mean she’s not chuffed to pieces now though, despite how angry she still is about Charity’s recklessness.

Still, she finds herself opening her mouth and lets Charity’s tongue slide hotly against her own. Charity pulls her close and slips a hand under the back of Vanessa’s shirt.

“You heard what the doctor said,” Vanessa says, but even to her own ears her voice is strained. “No strenuous activity.”

Charity pouts. “What if I lie back and let you do all the work?”

Vanessa sighs; she’s torn between wanting to be sensible and her urge to be close to Charity.

There’s a knock on the door and Charity sighs. “That’ll be the kids wanting to know your answer.”

Vanessa raises her eyebrows. “You told them? Sure I’d say yes?”

“Hoping they’d talk you round if you said no,” Charity replies, but Vanessa can tell she’s almost entirely joking.

“I am always going to say yes to you,” Vanessa says earnestly, because she knows that lasts few years have shown that she’s going to stick around but she wants Charity to know that she means that to go on indefinitely.

Charity kisses her again, hard and quick, and then gets up from the bed and holds out her hand. “Let’s reassure the masses you haven’t killed me then, ok?”

“Vanessa Dingle,” she sounds out, feeling the shape of it in her mouth for the first time. “Doesn’t sound half bad.”

Charity gives her that very soft look again and hugs her close. “No it doesn’t, does it? Sounds kind of perfect.”


	4. 2019: Jingle Around The Clock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a smutty one because we all knew it was only a matter of time.  
> Rating: M  
> CW: sex with sex toy
> 
> As ever feel free to comment and let me know your thoughts and find me on Tumblr @ authorette44.

2019: Jingle Around The Clock

“What’s this?” Moses asks, and Vanessa turns from where she’s ramming the food shop into the fridge. They really, really need a bigger one, for the amount of people living here. 

Moses has opened the parcel that they picked up from the post office on the way home, and in his hand is-

“Moses!” she squeaks. “What are you doing?” She quickly walks over and grabs the item from him.

“What is it?” he asks again.

Vanessa closes her eyes for a moment, willing the ground to open and swallow her whole. 

“It’s a Christmas present for your mum,” she explains. “It’s super secret, ok?”

He nods solemnly. “Why does Mummy want a wobbly red sausage for Christmas?”

“It’s a cleaning thing,” she says, grasping desperately for something that won’t be of interest to a four year old. “Really boring.”

“Oh.” His nose creases as he thinks about that for a second. “Like a hoover?”

“Yes, exactly,” Vanessa says quickly, picking up the box and moving towards the stairs. “Now, lets keep this between us, ok?”

“‘Kay,” Moses replies, already distracted by one of his toys.

***  
“It’s barely even December,” Charity bitches as the boys dance to the Christmas song in the advert on TV. “Can’t go anywhere without stupid jingle bells blaring at me.”

“Oh, my poor little Grinch,” Vanessa smiles, kissing her cheek. “We’ll get you in the mood yet.”

She knows why Charity is being this way. It was one thing for Ryan to announce that he was spending Christmas with his new girlfriend, and wouldn’t be round until Boxing Day, but when Debbie announced that she was taking Jack and Sarah to a cottage in Scotland with her new man as well, Charity fell into a right grump.

Charity huffs and plonks herself onto the sofa. “I don’t want to hear the word Christmas again tonight,” she grumps.

Vanessa rolls her eyes. She loves Christmas, and she really wants to put the tree up this weekend, all of them together. And Charity being in a mood will not get in the way. Time to implement her plan.

*** 

“Babe, are you seriously playing Christmas music? Like, do you want me to sleep on the sofa or some-“

Vanessa has never been good at being deliberately ‘sexy’ or anything, so she’s opted just to stretch out on the bed. She feels a little ridiculous, but she had a glass of red wine earlier to take the edge off her embarrassment, and she’s kind of been thinking about this non-stop since she opened the parcel earlier. 

Maybe the Santa hat is a bit much, on reflection, but the ‘sexy Mrs Clause’ basque seems to be doing its job, gaudy as it is, because Charity’s mouth has actually dropped open, and when her eyes trail down, and she sees the other surprise Vanessa is wearing for her, her eyebrows shoot up.

“What’s this, then?” Charity asks, voice rough. She moves towards the bed and Vanessa rises to her knees. 

“I thought it was time we tried to get you in the Christmas spirit,” Vanessa says, trailing a finger down Charity’s chest. “So why don’t you be a good girl, come over here, and tell me what you want from santa?”

Charity swallows. “Been plotting, have you?”

“Little bit.” But she’s starting to feel a bit insecure about the whole thing. “I mean, obviously only if you feel like it, it’s just you mentioned us getting, you know, one of these, and I know I was a bit hesitant but I’ve been thinking about it and-“

Charity crashes their mouths together in a messy, wet kiss as she kneels opposite her on the bed and pulls her close. “You look incredible,” she whispers against Vanessa’s neck. “Fucking gorgeous.” She palms at Vanessa’s breasts over the basque and Vanessa gasps and arches forward.

“My, my, you are happy to see me,” Charity purrs, as Vanessa’s movements nudge the tip of the strap on into Charity’s thigh.

Vanessa begins tugging at Charity’s clothes, relieved at Charity’s reaction. It took ages to figure out where the straps on the harness go, and she feels a little silly with a sparkly red dildo between her legs, so she’s glad it seems to be working for Charity.

“You had better be the one to take the boys to Santa’s grotto this year,” Charity says as she tugs her trousers and knickers off in one move, “because I’m not going to be able to keep a straight face.”

Vanessa wrinkles her nose. “Ok, major mood killer, considering that this year Santa is going to be played by my dad.”

Charity responds by reach round and undoing the clasps of Vanessa’s basque. “Sorry,” she says, sounding not at all sorry. “No more talk about Frank, and how about we turn off this music as well?”

Vanessa catches her wrist before it can make it to the stereo. “The music stays on.” She smirks. “I told you, this is to get you in the Christmas mood.”

Charity sighs dramatically. “There is nothing less sexy than ‘Rocking Around the Christmas Tree’, Ness.”

“Oh yeah?” Vanessa whispers, reaching down between them and grazing Charity’s clit. “Is that why you’re so wet for me?”

Charity’s eyes flutter shut and she grabs Vanessa’s shoulder. “God.”

Vanessa pushes gently at her shoulders and lays her down on the bed, then reaches over to the bedside table for the lube. “It’s cranberry flavoured,” she smirks, and Charity rolls her eyes and groans in response. But she still watches open mouthed and with dark eyes as Vanessa starts lubing up the toy, putting on a bit of a show, and when she’s done and they kiss again, Charity rocks up her hips eagerly.

“You ready for me?” Vanessa whispers.

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” Charity sighs, taking Vanessa’s hand and moving her fingers down so that the tip of Vanessa’s middle finger dips inside. 

She’s wet, really wet, but Vanessa still worries she’ll hurt her with the toy, which is much thicker than the two fingers Vanessa usually uses when Charity wants to be fucked.

She grabs the lube again and rubs it between her fingers to warm it up before gently pushing her fingers back inside. 

Charity whines and gasps and Vanessa brushes her clit lightly, just once.

“Oh _god_!” 

“Shhh,” Vanessa whispers. “Don’t want to be interrupted, do we?” 

In response, Charity grabs the base of the dildo and tugs Vanessa forward. 

“Fuck me now, Ness,” she whispers eagerly, pushing the head of the dick inside herself. “Please, now.” She curls her hand around Vanessa’s neck and places the other on her hip and urges Vanessa forward.

And then Vanessa is fully inside of Charity, and even Michael Buble crooning about a white Christmas can’t drown out the sound Charity makes, needy and hot and Vanessa can’t believe how this feels, how powerful and intense. Charity’s legs wrap around her waist and pull her closer, and when Vanessa begins to rock in and out, Charity’s eyes slam shut and she starts to pant. 

“Charity,” Vanessa groans, as the base of the dildo hits her clit. “God, is this ok?”

Charity nods. “Go a bit faster.”

Vanessa tries, and although she loses the rhythm a couple of times, it seems to be working for Charity, whose flushed chest and trembling legs are a sure sign that she’s about to come.

Vanessa raises herself up a little and reaches down for her clit.

“Noooo,” Charity groans.

“What is it?” Vanessa freezes.

“I can’t believe you’re going to make me come to this fucking song!” Charity whines.

Vanessa, who has completely blocked out the music, realises that Jingle Bell Rock, Charity’s least favourite Christmas song is playing. 

“What a bright time, it’s the right time…” Vanessa coos along to the music, slamming her hips forward and rubbing quick, tight circles over Charity’s clit, “to rock the night away.”

“I’m going to kill you,” Charity whines. “ _Oh yes, right there!_ ” She throws her head back and clutches Vanessa as she shudders and comes.

Vanessa slips out of her, grinning. Operation festive cheer is officially a success. “Can’t believe I managed to keep that hat on the whole time!”

*** 

The next morning, Vanessa is standing in the kitchen chatting to Debbie, who’s popped by to pick up Charity for some Christmas shopping once they’ve dropped the boys at nursery. 

Charity emerges down the stairs, singing to herself. “Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock…” She hums, smiling at them as she rounds the stairs. “Morning all.”

Debbie stares at her. “Thought you were hating Christmas this year?”

Charity shrugs. “Well, I got a special visit from Mrs Clause last night, so I’ve changed my mind!”

“Charity!” Vanessa exclaims, feeling herself go bright red at the same time as Debbie says “Mum!” with an expression of mild disgust. 

“Did Mrs Clause bring you a present?” Moses pipes up from his chair. 

Charity smirks at Vanessa, who feels like her cheeks are on fire. 

“You could say that, Moz.”

“Was it the sparkly sausage hoover?”

“Right well I’m late,” Vanessa says, hearing how high pitched her voice is. “I’ve got an appointment to die of embarrassment and later I’m going to have the ground swallow me, so I’ll see you later.” 

She grabs her coat and flees, praying that Moses doesn’t mention the sausage hoover to anyone at nursery.


	5. 2026: Gather Near To Us Once More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T  
> CW: discussion of depression and anxiety
> 
> As always please do let me know what you think :)

2026: Gather Near To Us Once More

“What are you doing?” Charity asks Johnny, who is standing by the window and is peering out.

He turns, chews his lip and looks down to the side, and for a moment he looks so much like his mother that Charity’s heart clenches.

“Mum’s outside,” he says quietly. “She’s been sitting in her car for ages.”

Charity moves forward and looks over his shoulder. He’s shot up, he’s taller than Moses now, and soon he’ll have caught her. He’s about Vanessa’s height already. Their little one is going to be the tallest of them all.

Vanessa is sitting behind the wheel of her bug, staring up at Wishing Well, but making no apparent move towards the door.

“Do you think we should go out there?”

Charity bites her lip. She’s torn between her desperate desire to see Vanessa and her brain telling her not to push. Ever since they’ve been talking on the phone, though, it’s been harder to curb that impulse to just go and see her and beg her to come home.

“I’ll go,” she says, putting on her brave face. 

Vanessa would have seen right through it, but luckily Johnny hasn’t had to learn to read her for lies. He’s never had reason to mistrust her, not like her other kids, and thank god for that.

She pulls on her coat and her boots and braces herself. 

It means something, that Vanessa is here on Christmas Day, right? That she’s come? So she didn’t respond to Charity’s message, but she _came_ , and she knows she shouldn’t get her hopes up, but god, how can she _not_ when Vanessa is here, right outside?

She trudges our, stepping gingerly over the ice on the ground, and walks to the passenger side. Vanessa sheepishly waves and it makes something in Charity loosen. She opens the door and lowers herself into the car.

“Hey.” Vanessa’s voice is soft and her cheeks are pink.

“Hiya.” Charity fiddles with the toggles on her parka. “You ever going to leave the car?”

Vanessa sighs. “Trying to work up the courage.”

“Ness,” Charity starts, but Vanessa cuts get off.

“I’m so sorry, Charity.” Her voice is thick with emotion, and it makes Charity’s own eyes well up. She turns her eyes upwards and breathes hard to force the tears back in.

“None of this is your fault, Vanessa.”

Vanessa lets out a bitter laugh. “That’s not exactly true, though, is it?”

Charity’s hand twitches; she longs to reach out and take Vanessa’s hand in her own but she’s not sure she’s allowed.

“I thought you were spending Christmas with Rhona?” She could kick herself the minute the words are out of her mouth, because Vanessa flinches. “Not that I’m not happy to see you,” she adds quickly. 

“I told Rhona I was spending today with Tracy, and I told Tracy I was spending it with Rhona.” Vanessa rubs a hand over her hair. “I just…I didn’t think I’d ever be the pity invite at Christmas ever again, you know?”

“Well you could have been with us,” Charity snaps and then sighs. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

“Yeah, you did.” Vanessa meets her eyes briefly. “And you’re right.”

Hope wells up in Charity’s chest. “How are you? With the pills, I mean? Are they helping?”

Vanessa looks back at her lap. “Yeah, I think so. They made me really sick at first, but I feel like it’s been getting a bit better this past month.” She plays with the sleeve of her jacket and Charity stares at the motion of her fingers. “I even did a couple of mornings at work this week.”

“That’s amazing, Ness.” Charity bites her lip. She misses Vaness so much it’s an almost physical pain. It’s almost been worse since they’ve been talking on the phone, because when they hang up, Charity _aches_ for how things used to be, how different Vanessa is now. How she can’t do anything to help.

“I’m trying,” Vanessa says suddenly. “I know I messed things up, and I pushed you away, and I’ve let you and the boys down-“

“You’ve never let me down,” Charity says quickly, firmly. “Never.”

“I have.” To Charity’s horror, tears start rolling over Vanessa’s face. “I spent years telling you not to push me away and then I did just that.”

Charity turns her body and pulls Vanessa towards her and lets out a ragged breath as Vanessa sinks into her arms for the first time in months. 

“I’m still here,” she whispers. “I’m not going anywhere. I love you, and I’m here for you, ok?”

“I’m so sorry,” Vanessa sobs. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright.” It’s not, not really. Nothing has been alright since Vanessa packed her bag five months ago and went to stay with Tracy in Hotten, but at least now Charity feels like it might be again some time soon. 

She holds Vanessa as she cries, and when her sobs calm down to sniffles, she pulls back and cups her face with the palm of her hand. “Come back to me?”

Vanessa swallows hard. “Charity…”

“Please.” She chokes but she’s not above begging. She’d forgotten what it was like, having to live without Vanessa’s light in her life, and she’s willing to do anything to get her back. “Please, babe.”

“I was so awful,” Vanessa whispers. “I left you. How can you forgive me? How can the boys forgive me?”

Charity takes both of Vanessa’s hands and squeezes them hard. “You were sick, Ness. That’s not your fault, and the boys know that, and I know that too. And yes, I wish you could have talked to me about it. I wish I could have helped you. I wish you had let me help you. But babe, we need you. Please, come home?”

Vanessa’s face crumbles. “Do you mean it?”

Charity nods, not trusting her voice. 

And then they’re kissing, soft and wet, hands tangling in her hair as their mouths slip against each other.

“I’m not better,” Vanessa whispers. “I mean, it is getting better, but I’m still having bad days. Sometimes I feel like I can’t even get out of bed, like there’s this weight on my chest and I can hardly breathe and there’s just no _point_ to anything and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“That’s ok.” Charity leans their foreheads together. “Babe, remember what you always say to me? Don’t say you’re ok if you’re not? That goes two ways, you know. I don’t need you to be magically ok again. I just need you to talk to me.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you before.” Vanessa buries her face in Charity’s neck. “I just didn’t know how. I was just so embarrassed and scared and then I started thinking all these awful thoughts and then I thought, you’d all be better off without me there because I was _useless_ anyway…”

Charity can’t stop the sound of horror that escapes her. “I am _never_ going to be better off without you, ok? And neither are the boys.”

“I miss you so much. You and the boys.” Vanessa holds Charity’s face in her hands and looks her right in the eyes. 

“We miss you too.” Charity swallows hard, feeling the hollowness in her stomach dissipate a little. “But we can fix this. We can fix it, Ness, ok? Together.”

“Together.” Vanessa nods. “I’m so-“

“Don’t say you’re sorry, ok? Just…just try, ok? Talking to me? And I’ll try too, to tell you what I’m feeling.” She smiles sardonically. “You know how I love doing that.”

Vanessa grins a little and Charity’s heart leaps. “We’re a right pair, aren’t we?”

Charity leans in and kisses her again, and for a moment there’s quiet, just their soft sighs as their mouths move together. 

“Come inside?” she whispers against Vanessa’s lips. “Please?”

Vanessa hesitates. “Are you sure? Everyone will think-“

“I want you there. So do the boys.” Charity makes her voice as firm as she can. If anyone else says _anything_ she is going to personally punch their lights out.

“I don’t even have any presents,” Vanessa mumbles, but Charity can tells she’s won, by the way Vanessa’s shoulders sag. 

“You brought you, didn’t you?”

“Cheesy.” But it makes Vanessa smile and that’s good enough for Charity.

“Look,” Charity says seriously. “I know we have stuff to sort out. Stuff to talk about. But I love you, and the boys love you, and it’s Christmas, so will you please just come in with me and eat some turkey and stop me from killing any of my family members?”

“Alright.” Vanessa smiles softly. “Alright.”


	6. 2021: Give It To Someone Special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s some Tuesday fluff! 
> 
> Rating: G  
> CW: none - this is just fluff
> 
> Come say hi on Tumblr @ authorette44. :)

2021: Give It To Someone Special

“No, no, _no_!” 

Debbie looks up from the potatoes she’s peeling and watches Vanessa answer her work phone with a scowl on her face. She quickly turns to look at her Mum, because she’s bound to flip her lid if Vanessa’s being called in, but she actually looks surprisingly calm.

“Cat got hit by a car,” Vanessa sighs. “They’re bringing it through now, but it sounds like it’ll need surgery. That’s a couple of hours at least.” She glances at her watch. “If I make it back by three we can just have a late Christmas dinner and you guys can have a sandwich or something until I get back and can get the turkey on?”

Debbie watches her mum nod. “Yeah, sure, don’t stress babe. Debs and I will get all this peeling and chopping sorted and we’ll just eat later.”

Vanessa gives Charity a suspicious look and Debbie can’t help but share the sentiment; it’s really not like her mum to be so chilled about the big Christmas dinner with all the kids and grandkids she’s been planning for months. Hell, she still remembers the big argument that ensued when Vanessa lost the draw of whose turn it was to be on call on Christmas Day, and Mum almost punched Paddy.

She watches them exchange a quick kiss, and Vanessa dashes off to call her Vet Tech and change out of her Christmas jumper.

“How come you’re so chill?” Debbie can’t help but ask, watching her mum start to peel the carrots.

“No point in getting wound up over things you can’t change,” Mum replies, turning to put the kettle on and taking down Vanessa’s travel mug to make her a cup of tea. 

“Who are you and what have you done with my mother?” Debbie looks around to see if any of her siblings are witnessing this, but Noah is wearing his new headphones and is ‘optimising the base line’ or something, the boys are engrossed with their Lego with Jack supervising, and Sarah is reading one of her new books, so she’s on her own with this imposter who claims to be level headed and reasonable.

“I’m really sorry,” Vanessa mumbles as she rushes past to grab the mug. “Should have bloody known.”

Debbie watches as her mum cups Vanessa’s face and gently kisses her, whispering something in her ear that makes Vanessa roll her eyes but melts her frown into a small smile. 

It’s been years now, of course, since Chas first told her that her mum was having a thing with Vanessa, years since she first walked in on them sitting on the sofa _holding hands_ , years since she first realised Vanessa might stick.

But it’s still strange to her, sometimes, to be struck by a desire to have a relationship as good as the one her mum has. That Charity Dingle has managed to find that thing that people go on about. The thing that Debbie thought she’d found in so many guys over the years, but in the end was let down over and over again.

It can be hard to watch, especially this year when she’s been dumped a month before Christmas, but she can’t look away either, from that calm happiness she never used to see in her mum before Vanessa came along.

It took her a while to understand their dynamic; she always kind of thought of Vanessa as a bit dull, with her cutesy jumpers and her general nice-ness, but with Charity a determined steel core has become apparent. Vanessa isn’t a push over, but she’s firmly in her mum’s corner, always, and Debbie knows now that that’s something her mum has needed and never gotten. 

It’s been a big year for them, with the wedding, but to be honest, except for the rings and the pictures on the wall, and the fact that her Mum won’t stop talking about her ‘wife’ like it’s going out of fashion, nothing has really changed. They still bicker, still disappear for suspiciously long periods of time into the cellar at the pub, still give each other these looks that make Debbie feel like they should probably take that somewhere private, still seem to make each other ridiculously happy in all the ways that her mother has never been happy before.

“What are you doing?” Debbie asks when her mum heads to the oven the second Vanessa is out of the door and turns it on.

“Making Christmas dinner,” Charity announces.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Debbie rises to her feet in alarm as her mum hoists the turkey out of the fridge. “Vanessa said she’d do it when she’s back!”

Charity glares at her. “I am more than capable of doing this, thank you very much.”

“Past experience says otherwise,” Debbie mutters under her breath, heart sinking. Vanessa is going to go mental. “Mum, come on, what are you trying to prove?”

Her mum glowers at her and puts the turkey in the tinfoil dish. “I gave Vanessa a hard time about being on call, ok? She feels bad enough as it is. And I want to do this for her.”

Debbie sighs, because for gods sake, that’s adorable, but at the same time it’s a terrible idea. “What if it goes wrong and then there’s no Christmas dinner?”

“Ah hah!” Her mum pulls a crumpled piece of paper out of her back pocket. “I knew this would happen, see, ever since Paddy rigged Rock Paper Scissors-“

“How is that even possible?”

“-and so I got Marlon to show me how he does his turkey when he was making them for all the Christmas parties.”

Debbie peers at the list. “Step one: take turkey out of fridge. He sure has a lot of faith in you.”

Mum puts her hands on her hips. “Are you going to help me or what?”

Debbie sighs. “Well, go on then. Hand me an apron.”

*** 

It’s half past three when Vanessa makes it back, looking exhausted. Debbie watches as she collapses next to her mum at the table and leans her head on her shoulder. 

“Hey, how did it go?” Her mum kisses the top of Vanessa’s head and wraps her arm around her shoulder. “Save the cat?”

Vanessa sighs and turns her head so it’s buried in Charity’s neck. “She didn’t make it. I tried my best but-“

Debbie watches her mum turn and hug Vanessa close. “I know you did, babe. It’s not your fault.”

Debbie turns away and puts the kettle on, because seeing how soft her mum is now hurts sometimes. She often wonders if this could have been possible before, if someone, anyone, in their family had really listened, or been there for her. 

“Sorry, I just need a minute and then I’ll get the dinner on,” she hears Vanessa mumble. 

“About that…” 

Debbie turns to see Vanessa suddenly raise her head and sniff the air. “Hang on. What’s that smell?”

Hiding a smile, Debbie moves out of the kitchen to make room for Vanessa to come close to the oven. 

“Is that the turkey?”

“Roasting away like a pro.” Charity looks so pleased with herself it’s almost comical.

Vanessa turns around and for a moment everyone freezes, and then her arms are around Charity and they’re kissing and Debbie wrinkles her nose and moves to the living room. 

“You’re amazing,” she hears Vanessa whisper, and then the sound of more kissing, and Debbie moves over the where the wee ones are still engrossed with their Lego hours later. 

“Don’t look,” she tells them. “The mums are being gross.”

“Gross!” Johnny echoes. “Sometimes they kiss for _ages_.”

Debbie nods in sympathy. “It’s awful, isn’t it?” She glances back at the kitchen, where Vanessa and her mum are still wrapped up in each other, foreheads touching, and feels something warm in her chest.

Her mum deserves this, she knows that. She’s waited an awfully long time for this. 

And maybe, if she’s lucky, Debbie might find this for herself too.


	7. 2028: Been An Awful Good Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cuteness last night just melted my brain, so here’s Charity trying to get into her wife’s pants as per usual. ;)
> 
> Rating: M  
> CW: sex, mention of sex toys

2028: Been An Awful Good Girl

“There had better be booze after this,” Charity mutters as she sinks into the pew next to Ryan. 

“You are such a grinch,” he grins, as Debbie moves in beside them and they all shuffle up. “You know Vanessa loves this stuff.”

“And I’m here, aren’t I, being the supportive wife? And I’ve listened to her belting out Christmas songs in the shower since before Halloween, and I’ve already watched The bloody Holiday twice this year.”

“We get it, Mum, you’re whipped,” Debbie smirks.

“Er, excuse me, not-so-young lady,” Charity begins, but then the choir comes out and Vanessa, short as she is, is in the front row, and she’s wearing that black dress with the sheer bit at the top which Charity loves and she decides to let it go until after the concert.

They start off with Winter Wonderland, and Charity rolls her eyes as Ryan bobs along. Debbie is busy waving at Jack, who is blushing in the back row, and his deep voice is easily distinguishable.

Charity knows Vanessa was secretly chuffed to pieces that she found something they had in common, just the two of them. Charity kind of loves it too, even if it means she has to listen to bloody carols being belted from the shower from October onwards.

They do a couple of hymns next and Charity tries not to tense up at the memories of her childhood Christmases spent in churches, and her father reading from his bible afterwards, often drunk and loud and violent.

Vanessa catches her eye and gives her a smile, though, and suddenly it fades again. Those memories come much less often now, and they’re easier to put away.

“Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock…” the choir begins, and Charity’s eyebrows rise as she makes eye contact with her wife, who winks back at her.

“I really, really wish I didn’t know that this is some kind of sex song for you two,” Debbie groans. 

“I really, really wish you had kept that to yourself,” Ryan sighs on Charity’s other side.

Charity smirks. This song has become their own rather special Christmas tradition. The year after Vanessa first used their special Christmas toy on her, Charity had dug it out on Boxing Day and jokingly put the song on. But the joke turned serious pretty quickly once she had Vanessa bent over the bed, and since then it’s become a tradition to do it at least once in the Christmas period.

It’s Vanessa’s turn to wear it this year and she can’t wait. Maybe tonight would be a good time to get it out.

She applauds politely, like she’s not fantasising about her wife fucking her senseless later when the song ends, and manages to look entirely nonchalant until…

Until…

“You didn’t tell me Ness had a solo?” Debbie asks.

“I didn’t know.” Charity feels like the air has been sucked out of her lungs.

“Santa baby,” Vanessa coos, looking straight at Charity in a way that is _definitely_ inappropriate for church. “Slip a sable under the tree, for me.” She peers out at Charity from beneath her eyelashes. “Been an awful good girl.”

“Close your mouth,” Debbie nudges her. “God, you’re actually drooling. How are you guys still this into each other?” She shudders. “Actually, please don’t answer that.”

Charity couldn’t if she tried. She can’t stop looking at Vanessa as she croons into the microphone.

“I am really glad the boys didn’t want to come,” Ryan says. “They should not have to see this.”

“They get enough exposure as it is,” Debbie remarks sharply. “I really hope those noise cancelling headphones they both asked for end up under the tree this year, because they deserve them.”

The song ends and Charity claps slowly, still mesmerised. Vanessa is in so much trouble later.

*** 

“Hiya!” Arms wrap around Charity from behind and she closes her eyes and leans into the warmth of Vanessa.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Mrs Minogue herself.” Charity turns and wraps her arms around Vanessa’s neck.

Vanessa grins up at her, clearly pleased with herself. “Did you like it? I wanted to surprise you.”

“Oh, I was surprised, alright.” Charity’s purses her lips. “Not thrilled I had to share it with half the village though.”

Vanessa leans up and kisses her, chaste but firm, and Charity feels the lick of heat in her stomach that ignited when Vanessa sang to her flare up again. 

“I could give you a _special_ performance later?” Vanessa whispers with a quirk of her brow. 

Charity glances around but no one is paying them any attention. “Or you could pop in the back with me for a preview?”

Vanessa laughs. “I’m sure you can last one more hour, Charity.”

Charity is not in fact so sure of that, and pouts, but Vanessa has got annoyingly good at ignoring her pouting over the years.

But she’s not willing to give up just yet. She glances around for inspiration and smirks as she sees one of her regulars, Sue, over by the drinks.

It’s playing dirty but Charity’s never been above that, so she heads over and casually pours herself a drink, then turns to Sue in fake surprise. “Oh hi!” 

“Charity!” Sue blushes a little and smiles. “How are you?”

“Same old, same old,” Charity purrs, glancing back at Vanessa and smirking at her glower.

They don’t really do jealousy, the two of them. There’s not much point in it, Charity realised early on, because Vanessa is so open about how she feels all the time that it’s not hard to trust that and believe her when she says she wants no one but Charity. 

And Vanessa trusts her completely, she knows that. She tends to find it amusing when guys hit on her, enjoys watching Charity toy with them only to go home with her wife.

But Charity has noticed that despite her outward cool, Vanessa is less chilled about other women hitting on her. Granted, in Emmerdale that doesn’t happen that often, but since Sue moved to the village and then broke up with her girlfriend, and has been hanging out in the pub most nights and blushing every time Charity looks at her, Vanessa has been a little more possessive.

Charity knows that Vanessa knows that she would never do anything, doesn’t want anyone but what’s waiting for her at home. And Charity knows as well that Vanessa tries very hard to hide that possessive streak. It’s Vanessa’s MO to try and show Charity every day that she’s different, that she doesn’t want to control or change her.

But still, something about Sue clearly rubs Vanessa up the wrong way, because she’s come up with a million reasons why she thinks Sue can’t be trusted: ‘doesn’t drink tea’, ‘doesn’t like dogs’, and Charity’s personal favourite, ‘wears too much purple’.

She knows it’s cruel, to wind Vanessa up intentionally, but she’s horny and determined and she knows just how to press Vanessa’s buttons. 

She makes small talk with Sue for two minutes before she feels a hand slip firmly into her own and has to turn her face slightly to hide a smirk. 

“Vanessa!” Sue says hesitantly smiles.

“Sue,” Vanessa nods, using that fake-nice tone she always uses on difficult owners at the vet. “How nice to see you.” She tugs at Charity’s arm a little. “You don’t mind if I steal my wife away for five minutes?”

Sue shakes her head, looking slightly reluctant, and Vanessa tugs Charity towards the back of the hall, where the door to the small side room that Sunday school is taught in is. 

“That was totally unnecessary,” Vanessa bitches, glancing around to make sure no one sees them go in and the pulling Charity in behind her. “I’m sure you could have waited.”

“Er, it’s you who’s taking me back here for a cheeky snog,” Charity replies, smug. “So clearly you’re the one who couldn’t wait-“

Vanessa cuts her off with an open mouthed kiss, and Charity feels herself groan and tugs Vanessa closer.

It’s been a while since they’ve had a quickie; with the boys out of the house more they have more time to take their time. But she realises that she’s missed this, the desperate tearing at clothes and the sloppy heat and the danger someone might walk in.

She pops the button of her jeans and grabs Vanessa’s hand, pushing it down. 

“God, you really are in a bad way, aren’t you?” Vanessa’s eyes go wide and she changes the angle of her wrist so she can go further back and slip the tip of her finger inside. 

Charity’s head falls hard against the wall but she doesn’t care. Vanessa knows exactly how and where she needs it and it’s so good.

But then the hand pulls away and Charity opens her eyes. “Ness!” she whines. 

Then she sees that Vanessa is shoving her dress up to her hips and feels her own hand tugged down under Vanessa’s tights and knickers.

“Only fair this way, right?” Vanessa gasps as Charity’s fingertips slide along her.

Charity uses her free hand to tug Vanessa forward and spreads her legs as Vanessa slips her hand back into her trousers.

They move quickly, the sounds of the choir and their family enjoying drinks and mince pies just through the thin wall keeping them both very aware of the risk of someone walking in, but that just takes them higher, and Charity is squirming and clenching within minutes. She keeps her fingers moving in lazy circles as she tries to catch her breath, until Vanessa grabs her wrist and grinds down hard as she comes with a whine.

“I can’t believe you talked me into that,” Vanessa says shaking her head. “We have a perfectly good bed ten minutes away.”

Charity raises her eyebrows. “You always pretend like these quickies are my idea, but then you come in about five seconds so I think you actually wanted me to persuade you.”

Vanessa opens her mouth to respond, when there’s a knocking on the door.

“Harriet says that if you two don’t stop whatever you’re doing right now she’s calling the police for public indecency,” Debbie says through the wall. “And I’m pretty sure you’ve traumatised your grandson, so congratulations.”

Vanessa’s head falls onto Charity’s shoulder, and Charity can tell she’s mortified. “I thought we were past getting caught like this,” she whispers.

“Well maybe if you don’t want that to happen you shouldn’t turn me on in public, eh?” Charity says, straightening her top. “Now come on. You mentioned our perfectly good bed, so let’s go make use of it.”

Vanessa squares her shoulders. “Ready for the walk of shame?”

Charity looks at her wife, whose flushed cheeks and wide eyes make her heart skip for a second. “Babe,” she says, much softer than she meant to, “look at you. It’s more like the stride of pride.”


	8. 2022: When I Get Through And Feel You Near Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What better to do when recovering from your work Christmas party than make your characters suffer more than you are.
> 
> Rating: T  
> CW: discussion of death of a parent

2022: When I Get Through And Feel You Near Me

Charity slams the pint glass down in front of Rishi and snatches the tenner from his hands with such vigour he actually flinches. She slams the till and practically throws his change at him, then begins wiping the bar down furiously.

“What is wrong with you?” Chas asks, eyebrows raised. 

“Nothing,” Charity snaps. Her elbow hits an empty glass and it smashes to the floor. She curses and bends down to pick up the glass, swearing loudly as the little shards prick at her skin.

“Alright, stop,” Chas says, nudging her aside with the end of the broom. “Go sit down.”

Charity lets out a loud sigh but does as she’s told, slumping onto a stool with a loud huff.

“Why are you here?” Chas asks impatiently.

Charity raises her eyebrows. “Er, I own half the pub. And you’re the one who always says that the rota _isn’t a suggestion._ ” She says the last part mimicking Chas’s voice.

Chas leans across the bar. “Yes, but in this case you actually have a reason not to be here. Charity, your dad died, it’s ok to be-“

Charity rolls her eyes. “Come on, let’s not pretend anyone in this family is actually sad that he’s dead.”

Chas sighs. “Charity.”

“ _Chas._ ” She imitates.

“Where is Vanessa?” Chas is clearly exasperated.

Charity snorts. “Why? Am I being too difficult? Have to call my keeper?”

Chas just gives her that long-suffering look and Charity sighs and feels herself deflate a little. “She’s at that RCVS Yorkshire Christmas do, isn’t she?”

“She went to that? Today?” Chas raises her eyebrow.

_“Fine!”_ Charity exclaims, throwing up her hands. “I told her to go.”

“And?” Chas says impatiently. 

Charity rubs her hand over her forehead, the headache pulling behind her eyes. “And we had an argument.”

Chas sighs, but instead of the lecture Charity’s expecting, Chas comes round the front of the bar and wraps her in a hug. 

“Chas,” she says, wriggling half heartedly, “people are going to think I’m going soft.”

Chas just smirks as she pulls back. “People already know you have, ever since that wife of yours came on the scene. Now, when are you going to start letting her help you before pushing her away first?”

Charity looks down at her fingers, at where she’s picked at a hangnail until it started bleeding.

She _has_ been better at talking about stuff with Vanessa. It’s been getting easier over the years, because there’s very little Vanessa doesn’t know about her past now. 

But her dad is different. It took her years to tell Vanessa exactly what went on between them that day she went to see him after Bails’s trial, and he’s still that thorn in her heart she feels like she hasn’t dug all the way out.

She doesn’t understand why it hurts, even after everything, that he’s gone, why she even cares, but she does and when Vanessa wanted to talk to her about it she lashed out.

_“You always think you know better,”_ she’d said. _“For once can you just leave me alone.”_

And when Vanessa had pushed and pushed more, she’d been cruel.

_“You’re not helping, you’re making it worse. You always just make me feel worse.”_

So Vanessa had finally given in and gone to her party, and Charity had pretended not to see her red eyes when she mumbled goodbye.

She feels awful now. She wants to be at home, wrapped in Vanessa’s arms, drinking tea and watching The Holiday like they do every year and complain about Cameron Diaz’s acting and feel Vanessa’s comforting warmth around her.

Instead, she’s done it again. Pushed her away.

One of these days she’ll push Vanessa too far.

“Charity, your phone is ringing.” Chas hands it across the bar, pulling Charity out of her sulk.

For a heart beat she’s sure it’s going to be Vanessa, but it’s Rhona’s Name that flashes in her screen. 

She sighs, really not in the mood for a drunk butt dial.

“Hello?” she sighs, already annoyed.

There’s a lot of background noise, singing and the clicking of glasses. “Charity?” Rhona yells down the phone, and Charity holds it further from her ear. 

“What do you want?”

There’s a lot of background noise and then the sound suddenly quietness. “Sorry, I just had to step outside.” Rhona clears her throat. She’s obviously tipsy but she’s not slurring yet. 

“What do you want, Rhona?”

Rhona sighs. “You need to come and get Ness.”

Charity picks at a stain on the bar with her fingernail, stabbing at it it until the grime peels off. “Rhona, she doesn’t want to see me, yeah? Just let her have her fun.”

“Look, I don’t know what went on between the two of you-“

“And it’s none of your business either!”

“-and frankly I don’t care,” Rhona continues as if Charity hasn’t spoken. “But Vanessa is in the toilets puking her guts out, the taxi queue is about a mile long, and Pete can’t come get us for another two hours.”

“She’s what?” Charity sits up.

“I think the meal didn’t agree with her, she’s been throwing up on and off for half an hour. And since you were all, I’ll always be there for you in your vows, I’ve decided that puking on nights out is now a wife thing, not a best friend thing.”

Charity sighs. “I’ll be there as fast as I can.” She bites her lip. “Is she…do you think she’s still mad at me?” It’s mortifying, having to ask Rhona, but she’d rather know before she gets there.

But Rhona has obviously stopped paying attention now she’s achieved her goal. She’s talking to someone in the background and then says “Look, I have I go. Come to the bathrooms when you get here, I assume we’ll still be in there.”

Charity lowers her phone and leaps into action.

“Where are you going?” Chas asks. “And what are you doing with that?”

Charity lifts the mop bucket and jerks her head to the door. “I’m off to get Vanessa.”

Chas mutters something that sounds suspiciously like _finally_ and waves her away.

*** 

She gets to Hotten in good time, but driving through the streets is a nightmare. It’s Mad Friday and apparently that means the normal rules for pedestrians do not apply. 

She uses her horn liberally and aggressively but even so she almost hits three girls in heels they can’t walk in and two staggering groups of Christmas jumper wearing blokes before she manages to park on double yellow lines outside the restaurant.

“We’re closed for a private function,” the boy on the door tells her. He’s so young his voice has barely broken, and when she glares at him he actually flinches. 

“I’m here to get my wife,” she says with more confidence than she feels, since she’s not sure said wife actually wants collecting, and storms in without waiting for his response.

The bathroom queue is predictably a mile long, but she ignores the abuse she gets as she skips past them and storms into the ladies’.

“Vanessa?” she calls out, hating how hesitant her voice sounds. “Babe?”

For a moment there’s nothing except a lady in a terrible red sequin dress berating Charity for skipping the queue, and then the cubicle at the end unlocks.

“Charity?” Vanessa calls weakly, and Charity rushes over ignoring the protests from behind her.

Vanessa is crouched on the floor, in that lovely green velvet dress that Charity picked out for her online and convinced her to order, and then convinced her to keep, because she looked so beautiful it made Charity’s insides do that funny clenching thing.

She looks awful. She’s clearly been crying and her makeup is smudged, and she’s white as a sheet. Charity tries not to breathe through her nose and steps into the cubicle.

“Rhona called me,” she says awkwardly, because despite having had a lot of practice she’s still no good at apologies. 

“I think it was the stuffed mushrooms,” Vanessa says weakly. “I’ve been throwing up for ages. I think I have food poisoning.”

“We should sue them,” Charity says immediately, because a fight with a snobby restaurant owner seems exactly what she needs to work out her feelings, but then Vanessa gives a little sob and she crouches down and gathers her in her arms.

“Don’t,” Vanessa says weakly, “I’m all gross.”

“Still the most beautiful woman in the room,” Charity says, kissing the top of her head. “Now let’s get you to the car before those bitches in the toilet queue storm the cubicle.”

Vanessa staggers a little, but Charity’s grip is firm, and she even resists the urge to flip off the woman who says ‘finally’ as they walk past.

Rhona comes over to say goodbye, but they make it short because Vanessa is looking green again, and she heaves onto the pavement the minute they get outside, leaning heavily on Charity.

The streets are, if possible, even busier than half an hour ago, and Charity has to push aside two blokes making out against the passenger door before bundling Vanessa inside.

“I don’t want to be sick in the car,” Vanessa says quietly. 

“Aha!” Charity reaches behind her. “I planned ahead.”

“You?” Vanessa manages a weak smile, and relief floods her, because that smile means they’re ok. 

“You’ve finally corrupted me with all your planning.” She shoves the mood bucket into Vanessa’s arms. “Once we get out of town I can pull over, but until then use this.”

They’re quiet until they hit the country road, because Charity has to concentrate on not running anyone over.

But once they’re out of the bustle, the quiet feels heavy, and Charity feels the weight of the apology she hasn’t given yet.

“I’m sorry,” Vanessa says, before Charity’s mouth can form the words. “I knew better than to push so hard and I shouldn’t have gone tonight.”

“I told you to go,” Charity says quickly.

“And when do I ever do what you say?” Vanessa smiles a little at her, but it fades quickly. “I shouldn’t have left you alone.”

“I shouldn’t have pushed you away.” Charity grips the wheel hard. “I didn’t mean what I said. I just…I couldn’t…”

“I know.” Vanessa’s cold, clammy hand briefly squeezes her own. “I know it takes you a bit to be able to talk about your dad.”

“But when I can,” Charity says quickly, “you know you’re the only one I want to tell, right?”

“I know.” Vanessa pats her thigh. “I know. Now please pull over, because I’m going to throw up again.”

She pulls into the entry to a field, and holds back Vanessa’s curled hair while she retches. 

“Bet you’re glad you answered the phone now,” Vanessa chokes as she wipes her mouth with the tissues they keep in the car for the boys.

She wants to say something. Something like how she’d rather be in a field in the freezing cold with a puking Vanessa than pretty much anywhere else with anyone else. 

But those kind of words don’t come easy to her, so she just takes Vanessa’s hand. “Come on, Mrs Dingle. Let’s go home and watch The Holiday.”


	9. 2027: Hark Now Hear The Angels Sing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T  
> CW: very brief mentions of traumatic birth and sick baby
> 
> Feel free to say hello in the comments or on tumblr @ authorette44 :)

2027: Hark Now Hear The Angels Sing

The call comes when they’re curled around each other after a lazy afternoon spent in bed, while Charity is trying to decide whether she’d rather start another round or make them a cuppa.

It’s been a relief, that this part of their relationship has come back. When Vanessa first started being ‘too tired’ last year, Charity had pretended like it wasn’t happening, hadn’t confronted the issue because she was scared of what Vanessa might say.

Like that she wasn’t attracted to Charity any more. That she had found someone else to touch her, to hold her. That she didn’t want Charity any more.

She hates that she didn’t ask Vanessa, back then. Hates that she didn’t try to speak to her, like Vanessa would have if it had been the other way around. Maybe she could have realised earlier that there was something wrong, helped Vanessa get help sooner.

Instead, she pretended like she didn’t notice her wife pulling away and almost lost her.

But it’s better now. Not perfect, but better. They’re talking more, both of them, and it’s hard sometimes, but Charity has never felt closer to Vanessa. She would do anything to make Vanessa’s burden a bit lighter, but if she’s honest with herself, she likes that she can support Vanessa, even a little, the way Vanessa has always supported her. 

And the physical side of their relationship has come back too, in recent months, aided by the fact that the boys are out of the house more now with their hobbies and their friends.

She’s missed being close to Vanessa, and knows the feeling is mutual because Vanessa whispered it in her ear over and over while she worked her hand between them. 

So when the phone rings, and she realises what it means, she groans as she answers, because their lazy Christmas Eve afternoon is about to become a whole lot less cosy.

*** 

Charity bitches under her breath all the way to the hospital, but she doesn’t once suggest that they don’t go, because they’ve already had this argument and now that she knows why it’s so important to Vanessa, she’ll see it through, even though it’s dumb.

Noah is, of course, nowhere to be seen, and none of the other kids are here yet because they all understand that childbirth takes _hours_ , but still, she lets Vanessa bustle around and get them coffee and pull out a crossword book for her without comment. 

_”I don’t want them to be alone,”_ , Vanessa had said, _“if anything goes wrong. I know what it’s like to feel alone and scared and having someone there helps._ ”

And with Carrie’s family all the way in California, and not due to fly over until January, they’re all the family she has.

Vanessa reaches down into her massive bag and pulls out some wool, and Charity’s resolution not to say anything snaps.

“Are you _knitting?_ she asks, appalled. “In public? Want everyone to know you’re about to become a granny?”

“I’m already a granny,” Vanessa huffs, but they both know it’s not the same.

Sarah and Jack adore her, but they’ve both got more than enough grand and great grandparents. 

But Noah and Vanessa have become so close over the years. Closer than Charity ever thought to hope back when Noah was still straining against the love Vanessa tried to give him. 

But she won him round, in that way she has. 

And now Charity just knows that Vanessa is going to be one of those grandparents that can’t help but be involved in every little aspect of their grandkid’s life. 

She used to always say that Charity was the mum responsible for the fun stuff, and she was the mum that did the sensible stuff, but she has a feeling Vanessa is going to make up for that when she’s a granny.

“Are you knitting a tiny Christmas jumper?” Charity asks, and despite herself, she melts a little because it’s bloody adorable and Vanessa looks so proud of herself.

“For our little Christmas miracle,” Vanessa smiles. 

“The real Christmas miracle is the fact that someone in our family has managed to have a planned pregnancy,” Charity mutters and flinches away from Vanessa’s elbow. 

They’re quiet for a long moment, Charity puzzling over eighteen across and Vanessa counting stitches. 

“I used to wonder,” Vanessa says quietly, “what it would have been like. If we could have been a family from the start. You know, when we had the kids. Do the whole pregnancy thing together.”

Charity stares at her. “What do you mean?”

Vanessa looks ahead, clearly deep in thought. “It was just such a horrible time. And then Johnny was so sick and I was…” She trails off and Charity quickly takes her hand. “I don’t know. I just wish I could have had you then.”

“I wasn’t the same back then,” Charity says softly. “I mean, for one, I was in prison.”

Vanessa gives her a look. 

“But also, I don’t think I was ready.”

“Ready for what?” Vanessa asks softly. 

“To let you love me like I needed you too,” Charity says, looking at her lap, because it’s still bloody hard to say stuff like this sometimes. 

“I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit,” Vanessa says, squeezing her hand. “I know you needed a bit of a push, but once you got over the whole ‘we’re not a couple’ thing you were a really good girlfriend.”

Charity rolls her eyes but she’s touched. She doesn’t usually dwell on what-ifs, it’s not who she is, but for a moment she lets herself imagine what it would have been like if she’d met Vanessa when she was young. Before she’d been married and then married again. Before the scheming and prison and the pain. 

“But I suppose then our boys wouldn’t be the same,” Vanessa ponders slowly. “So I suppose it’s good that we didn’t meet before.”

Charity kisses the side of her head in lieu of an answer and leans her head on Vanessa’s shoulder. 

*** 

Six hours later and they’re still waiting. Noah popped out briefly to say hi but that was a couple of hours back.

Vanessa is asleep on her shoulder, and Charity is slowly stroking her back, trying to ignore the aches in her joints from the plastic chairs. 

They don’t know what it’s going to be yet, and she’s excited. It’ll be different this time, she knows, because Vanessa will be with her, to hold her self doubt at bay. She’s always been better with her grandkids than with her own, but not perfect by any means. She has a feeling, though, that maybe she’ll do alright by this little one.

She thinks back to a few days ago, when they were talking about names. Carrie’s own father isn’t in the picture, so when it came to boys’ names, she mooted Chris or Frank.

_“Maybe you could pick a name of a guy I haven’t slept with?”_ Charity had replied. Carrie had looked horrified and Vanessa vaguely ill, so she’s pretty sure those are both off the table. But she has a feeling, anyway, that it’s a girl. 

She knows Vanessa is convinced that it’s a boy, but Charity feels it in her bones.

She shoots a message to Debbie, letting her know there’s no news, and then decides to close her eyes too.

“Mum.” She blinks and sees Noah standing there, his eyes wide and his hair messy and his clothing wrinkled. He’s beaming. 

Charity sits up and jostles Vanessa who sits up and clutches her stiff neck. 

“Noah!” she exclaims. Charity reaches for Vanessa’s hand and clutches it tight.

“It’s a girl,” Noah smiles. 

Smug, Charity turns to Vanessa, but swallows her ‘I told you so’ when she sees that Vanessa is in tears.

They both stand and embrace Noah in turn, without letting go of their joined hands. 

Charity feels her own throat closing up and she coughs roughly.

“Well, let’s go see her then,” she says quickly, “before Carrie decides to name her Zoe or something.”


	10. 2030: All The Way Home I’ll Be Warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s some more tooth-rotting fluff. I think I might have time for one more of these before Christmas.
> 
> Feel free to say hi in the comments or on tumblr - @authorette44. 
> 
> Rating: G  
> CW: none, this is just fluffy fluff

2030: All The Way Home I’ll Be Warm

“Go, go, go!” Moses exclaims behind him, and Johnny speeds up as much as he can but he’s carrying his school bag and his cello and the stairs are narrow and he’s trying to be quiet, so it’s more like fast creeping.

“Debbie said we’re to be outside by ten past if she’s to give us a lift in,” Johnny grumbles. “We’ve got ten minutes.”

“And do you really want to spend them in the danger zone?” Moses replies, hunting for his second football boot as soon as they get to the bottom of the stairs. “When _she_ could appear at any second?”

Johnny does see the logic in that, so he puts his bags and cello case down and grabs his boots, but his heart sinks as he heads to the living room to tug them on.

“Well, well,” Ma smiles, her fingers wrapped around her morning brew. “Look who’s up at the crack of dawn.”

“Busted,” Johnny sighs. Behind him, Moses lets out a loud groan.

“Ma, come on. _Please?!_ We’ll wear them all of Christmas.”

Ma shakes her head and grabs the two jumpers, throwing them towards them. The sleeve of Johnny’s hit him in he face and he flinches.

“If I have to suffer,” she says, “then we all have to suffer. Now put those bloody jumpers on before your mother gets down here.”

Johnny sighs, pulling his reindeer jumper over his head, but Moses hasn’t quite given up yet.

“Please! We can be out before she even notices!”

They hear the noise of the bathroom door upstairs and Ma springs into action, glaring at them both. 

“If that jumper isn’t on you by the time she gets down here your PlayStation will not see the light of day until next year.”

Moses lets out a dramatic sigh but Johnny can hear the rustle behind him which means he has also capitulated.

Given that they’re now doomed to this, Johnny decides he at least has time for toast, so he heads to the kitchen, where Ma is texting an expletive riddled message to Paddy, presumably to let him know exactly what will happen if he isn’t also wearing his Christmas jumper that Mum made him last Christmas when she gets to work.

There’s the sound of footsteps on the stairs and Ma quickly shoves her phone away, gesturing at the two of them. “Well, go on then!”

“Do we have to?” Moses whines, but Johnny knows there’s no sense in arguing when Ma gets _that_ look on her face so he reaches down and flicks on the batteries, so Rudolph’s nose and eyes start flashing, giving the whole look a vaguely demonic air.

“This is all your fault anyway,” Moses tells him. “She would never have discovered these stupid battery pack lights if you hadn’t dragged us to Hobbycraft.”

Johnny glares back but he doesn’t have a chance to respond because Mum has come down the stairs, looking like Christmas threw up on her.

Her jumper this year has a Christmas scene, featuring Santa and all of his reindeer, as well as several elves and a penguin, and for some reason she has decided to use the battery powered lights to give all of the characters red, glowing eyes which makes them look possessed.

“Well?” she beams. “Isn’t it great?”

Moses opens his mouth but Ma’s face makes him close it again.

“You look like the ghost of hellish Christmas came and knitted you a jumper,” Ma says, leaning over to kiss her.

“Why is she allowed to say it?” Moses grumps quietly, “and we have to wear them to school?”

Mum laughs. “Honestly, what are you like? Every year you pretend not to like the jumpers and then you wear them anyway.” She moves to the kettle to make herself a cup of tea, and the three of them exchange a long suffering look before Moses sighs and grabs some toast.

“I can make one for Archie too, if you like? If I start tonight I’ll be done by Christmas?”

Johnny chokes on his toast at the look of abject horror that crosses Moses’ face at the thought of having to present his boyfriend with a light up monstrosity, but luckily this seems to be a step to far for even Ma.

“Babe, give the poor boy a chance at a snog at least before we ruin it, ok?”

“Too soon?” Mum says knowingly, and Moses nods quickly.

“ _Way_ too soon.”

Mum turns to Ma, and the Grinch jumper she’s wearing. “You’ve forgotten to light him up!”

“Yep, forgotten,” Ma mumbles, but she lets Mum flick the switch because Ma lets Mum do pretty much whatever she wants all the time, and the Grinch’s eyes and mouth start flashing madly.

“Right, I’d better get to work.” Mum kisses him and Moses on the head and then leans in for a longer kiss with Ma, at which Moses makes retching noises. “I’m so excited to see how Rhona likes her jumper. God, Christmas jumper day is just the best.”

She gives them a last wave, and the minute the door slams the three of them are turning off the lights and ripping off the jumpers.

“Now, I don’t care what you do with them until then,” Ma says sternly, “but when we all meet at the pub later we will _all_ be wearing these monstrosities. Is that clear?”

They sigh and nod.

*** 

Later, when they meet in the pub, Johnny is surprised to see that Moses is wearing his jumper, and that Archie is with him.

“Guess who’s a big fan of Mum’s Christmas knitting?” Moses says, raising his eyebrows pointedly.

“No way,” Ma cackles, delighted. “Babe, this one’s a keeper.”

“Do you reckon she’d make me one?” Archie asks. “They’re awesome!”

“One? Babe, once you ask her to start she’ll never stop!” Ma gestures round the pub, where at least half the punters are wearing Mum’s creations from over the years. How Ma convinced all of them to show up in them, again, is a mystery to Johnny.

Archie laughs as the Johnny exchanges a look with Moses.

“No accounting for taste,” Moses says, taking a gulp of coke.

“Well we knew that already since he’s going out with you,” Johnny retorts.

“Vanessa’s about to get here,” Ma announces to the pub, “so get those lights on if you want your free pint.”

There’s some grumbling, but around the pub people pull on jumpers and flick the batteries and when Mum finally comes in, cheeks red from the outside, and sees their flashing, wool clad neighbours and beams, he glances at Ma, who’s giving Mum that look that she gets sometimes, like she wants to hold her and never let go.

He remembers, a few years ago, how awful it was when Mum moved out for a few months. How everything, including Ma, seemed wrong. 

He looks at them now, wrapped around each other by the bar, being all kinds of embarrassing because they’re _old_ and should not be snogging like that in public, and feels that warm bubble inside of him. 

Everything is ok, now. 

And if he’s honest, the jumper is pretty cosy.


	11. 2042: Another Year Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it folks :) a short and sweet ending to what’s been a fun way to write myself into the Christmas spirit. Thanks to everyone who’s been commenting here and on tumblr :)
> 
> Happy holidays to all, however you celebrate, and I’ll be back soonish with some other stuff I’m working on. Meantime come say hi on tumblr- @authorette44.
> 
> Rating: G  
> CW: none

2042: Another Year Over

Vanessa sighs softly, glancing over at Charity, who is clenching her jaw in time to the Christmas music blaring out of the radio. 

They haven’t spoken since they left Emmerdale, and Vanessa feels the guilty feeling sitting heavily in her stomach.

“Charity,” she says softly, and when Charity ignores her, she turns off the radio. “I’m sorry.”

Charity barely grunts, and Vanessa knows it’ll take more than that. 

“I overreacted,” she tries. “It’s just hard to think about letting go.”

Charity sighs but her shoulders drop a little and Vanessa unclenches a bit as she realises that Charity is coming round.

“I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

Charity clicks her tongue and then says “I just, stupidly, thought that when you dragged me to all those financial adviser meetings and made me put money aside for our retirement and made all those spreadsheets, that that meant that at some point we would actually retire.” She drums her hands on the steering wheel. “And not that I pass the pub to Moses and Andrew and sit at home while you work until you drop.”

Vanessa clenches and unclenches her fists. “You’re right,” she says eventually, softly. “I know you’re right.”

“Sorry, can I get that in writing? Because I’ve been saying this for months.” Charity says, giving her an incredulous look.

Vanessa lets her head drop back against the headrest. “I’m tired all the time. Paddy and Rhona are both loving life now they’ve sold their shares. My back is killing me every night when I come home.”

“So then it’s a no brainer!” Charity exclaims. “Karen is desperate to buy your share.”

“I just…” Vanessa trails off, feeling a little silly. “I know I’m not saving the world or anything, but it’s nice to think I’m making a difference. And when I retire, what am I going to be? What do I do?”

Charity glances at her and gives her a wink. “Well, me, hopefully, and often,” she jokes, and Vanessa sighs deeply. “Babe,” Charity says gently. “You’re a great vet. Everyone says so. But you’ve done your bit. You’re sixty six! It’s ok to pass on the reigns.”

“I know, I know,” Vanessa grumbles. She does know. But it’s hard to let go of something she’s loved for so long.

Charity groans. “Ok, fine. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to do this but fine.” She pats Vanessa’s knee. “If you retire, I will reconsider the dog.”

Vanessa’s jaw drops open but she’s still suspicious. “It’s been twenty five years, Charity, and you’ve said no to a dog for pretty much all of those.”

“Well then you’ve bloody waited long enough,” Charity mutters in that embarrassed brash tone she only uses when she’s genuinely sheepish. “And anyway, I’d rather have you and one dog at home than you in the surgery and a stink and shedding free home.”

Vanessa shakes her head. “I don’t need a dog. I mean, I’d love one, don’t get me wrong, and I think you’d really like one too as I’ve been telling you for years, but I think I’m ready.”

“Bit of a change of tune from half an hour ago,” Charity mutters but Vanessa ignores her.

“I’ll speak to Karen in the new year about her buying me out,” she says, and now that the decision is made, she feels a weight drop off her, like her body’s known what she needs to do but her mind just took a while to catch up.

“It’ll be fun, babe,” Charity says, excited now. “We can go on those coach trips and make all the young ones uncomfortable by making out in the back seat.”

“Or we could just focus on spending time with the kids and grandkids,” Vanessa suggests.

“You’re so dull,” Charity says, but she’s smiling, in that small, pleased way she has when Vanessa lets her win once in a while, and it warms that place inside her that’s been Charity’s for half a century.

“I love you,” she tells her earnestly, and although she says it at least once a day, and Charity knows it, it has a special weight to it this time that makes it hang between them, and Charity reaches out and squeezes her hand gently.

“I love you too, Ness.” She indicates and slips onto the exit, flicking on her lights as the sun sets fully. “Now, are you ready to just sit and let Sarah do Christmas dinner the way she wants, and not the way you think it should be?”

“It was only a small list of helpful suggestions!” Vanessa pouts. “I didn’t say she had to follow them!”

Charity laughs. “We’ve been married for over twenty years, babe. I know how your _suggestions_ work.”

Embarrassed, Vanessa ticks her hair behind her ear. She knows she can micromanage sometimes, the whole family says so. But she’s been trying to be more relaxed now that everyone is grown up and moved out and living their own lives. 

“God, I’m a nightmare sometimes,” she huffs.

“You are,” Charity agrees, and Vanessa turns to give her an outraged look. “Especially when you’re getting us all into those awful jumpers. But you’re my nightmare and I wouldn’t have you any other way.”


End file.
